We encourage you to consider the independence and success of your child when preparing to share your home with a child. A consistent daily schedule really helps to anchor a child and make the day go smoothly. Our schedule at school is listed below for you as a possible starting point. You may need to alter it a bit to account for your own schedule needs as well.
There are many ways that you could encourage your child’s independence, bolster their self-esteem and allow them to contribute at home. One key element for independence at home is a low table and chair, just the right size for your child. Usually the best place for this table is in the kitchen, where we spend so much time cooking and cleaning.
Children love to pour their own drinks and pour milk in their cereal. You might try providing a small pitcher of milk or water for them to pour from, or at least have a reusable water bottle down low where they can access it whenever they want a drink. Have your child sit down whenever eating or drinking. It is a good, safe habit, and will be required when they return to school :-). You might try to place cups, bowls and plates that they can use down low where they can get them without help. You might give your child the job of placing the silverware for dinner or sweeping the floor with a hand-held broom and dust pan after breakfast.
Cooking is another favorite activity. Sitting at their own low table, and using child safe utensils, they can wash and cut fruits and vegetables, make their own snack, spreading cream cheese or peanut butter, and chopping cheese. They can help measure dry goods (older children can help measure wet goods too!)
Children enjoy “cleaning”. Of course they are not necessarily effective! But if you have the patience, give your child a sponge and a small bowl of soapy water and let them to “help” you clean the floor, cabinets or bathtub while you are cleaning. Give them a small sponge that fits in their hands well, and show them how to squeeze the excess water out before beginning to rub. Children love to help clean the dishes. At home you will likely need a safe step stool. Children can even help put dishes into a dishwasher. Remember to always show them slowly and carefully, exactly how you want them to do the task at hand. And be ready to go at a slow pace!
Let your child help to fold clean laundry, starting with small towels and small t-shirts first.
Be patient with imperfection. Once you have seen the flash of joy in their eyes and the spring of pride in their step a couple times, you will find that finding more ways for your child to contribute at home is very rewarding.
Remember that sharing is difficult for young (and old) children and generally causes a lot of conflict. Consider having a special rug for each child to put their floor activity on, and/or a special table, or section of a table, where they can do table top activities. Also remember, all of our students, 2 and up, know how to put away their activity before choosing another one. Try to maintain that one rule and your home will not become an overwhelming disaster zone so quickly. In order for young children to be able to put things away, there needs to be an easy to reach and organized place for each thing. Consider reducing the number of things available at one time, but rotating activities.
Speaking of activities, when there is something interesting, engaging and informative to do, a child will do it. When there is not, they will do SOMETHING, and it may not be what you would prefer.
Toilet Learning for Toddlers!
Toddler Toilet Learning (PDF)
Effective Parenting and Montessori Philosophy Session #1: “I can do it!”
Effective Parenting and Montessori Philosphy #1: “I can do it!” Video Recording
Effective Parenting and Montessori Philosophy #1: “I can do it!”
Mistaken Goal Chart
10 Montessori Quotes to Help Adopt a Holistic Approach to Parenting
The Benefits of Kids Doing Chores – MSU
Appropriate Chores by Age
Parenting Resources
Books supporting confidence
A Montessori Home Environment Fostering Independence (video)
- Useful Books
- The Montessori Toddler: A Parent’s Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being
by Simone Davies - The Discovery of the Child
by Dr. Maria Montessori - Montessori from the Start: The Child at Home, from Birth to Age Three
by Paula Polk Lillard and Lynn Lillard Jessen - The Montessori Baby: A Parent’s Guide to Nurturing Your Baby with Love, Respect, and Understanding
by Simone Davies and Junnifa Uzodike - How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish - Positive Discipline for Preschoolers: For Their Early Years–Raising Children Who are Responsible, Respectful, and Resourceful (Positive Discipline Library)
by Jane Nelsen Ed.D. and Cheryl Erwin M.A. - The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children
by Ross W. Greene PhD - The Absorbent Mind
by Dr. Maria Montessori - On Becoming Babywise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep
by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam M.D. - On Becoming Pre-Toddlerwise: From Babyhood to Toddlerhood (Parenting Your Twelve to Eighteen Month Old)
by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam MD - On Becoming Toddlerwise: From First Steps to Potty Training
by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam - On Becoming Childwise: Parenting Your Child from 3-7 Years
by Gary Ezzo and Robert Buckham - No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame
by Janet Lansbury and JLML Press - Montessori Parenting
by Dr. Jim and Sonnie McFarland